Sunday 24 February 2008

Woof!

My dear reader,

21.26pm. My first blog posting.

Save for the occasional whimper from the irksome spaniel down by the corridor, all is quiet here on B-wing. Finally, finally I have a moment to think.

Today was our monthly "pet therepy" visit to the hospital. Myself and a collie are routinely molested by geriatrics in the most humiliating way. What a miserable affair. However, there is a common room there that smells of bleach and vegetables where I am able to gaze at the television and at least hope to distract myself.

Nevertheless, I was troubled by a commercial I saw there today. It was for Poligrip gel, which now boasts something called "ooze control." Poligrip has "minimum ooze" according to its manufacturers. What a ghastly image, don't you think? As though the thought of wearing dentures weren't unappealing enough.

And there I sat dear reader, frozen in fear; petrified that the unsavoury old woman whose lap I had been forced to sit on wasn't just at risk of leaking or spilling, but that she may also begin oozing at any moment.

Woof! Quite simply horrid.